With such light we arrive!
The first 3 months of a baby’s life …. are in some traditions referred to as the 4th trimester in pregnancy. In a few days Suki and I will be leaving this delicate and watery realm as she turns 3 months old. I’m still so blissed out at having this sweet human life transcend me into motherhood. And so eternally grateful. Every day I’m in wonderment at her and more in love with her. How blessed we have been. Many people have made a huge difference to me during this 3 month journey. I know I can knock modern healthcare professionals, but the staff at the hospital were mainly amazing. One doctor, Kate, showed such care towards me as I was given a blood transfusion, and countless midwives who took care of me were just awesome. I can’t remember hardly any of their names now because of the other realm I was in at the time! Amy, taking me to hospital, being with me through the journey of Suki arriving and being SUCH a support in countless ways… And since then, so many sweet friends dropping by food, doing washing up for me, giving me massages, generous gifts, being with me and my tears in my washed out tender moments – reminding me of my ok-ness. I have tried to hold strong to keeping this 3 month transit as quiet a time as I can .. and try not to castrate myself when I make mistakes or feel inadequate. In this modern world, I know many women do not give themselves the opportunity to rest and receive after birth and I wish more than anything that new mothers get to experience what I did and have support for their tenderness at hand. Rest woman, rest. Be. Listen. Feel. Open. And know you will never experience anything more touching and precious. I would have plummetted into the cold and dark postnatal depression if it hadn’t been for allowing my vulnerable voice to be heard by close friends and my fairy godmother so that the clenched anxieties, exhausted embodied emotions could be seen and released. And they are still being heard, as I continue this intense, sweet voluptuous road .. and then they are passed into the wind with each sigh. What a delicate and sacred time for a mother and her own inner child …. all the facets of woman show up to dance their stories here … as I tend to the earth beneath Suki and her beginning in this life … <3