This feels by far like my greatest rite of passage yet. The journey to motherhood! Pregnancy! An exhilarating, intensely vulnerable roller-coaster gestation period where I have found strength and incredible support from my soul sisters around me. The world will never be the same and sometimes I am just overwhelmed by this blessing of life. I must be ready! But some days I am kicking and screaming as I wrestle with my inner pixie who just doesn’t want to grow up and claim her full power and responsibility as a woman. 38 years of only taking care of myself, and a few furry friends along the way have created and affirmed a selfishness of my life and all my own childhood nuances and fears leaping out of the cupboard to taunt me and tell me of the shadows of childhood/motherhood. Supportive, warm beings whispering in my ears of what a wonderful mother I will be only slightly lessens the fear of the harm that could come from projecting my crap onto this divine little being. I feeling the heightened sensitivity to all noises, smells, our patriarchal focused world … and again I dive into the deep dark reflective well that I know so dear, craving for a matriarchal, flourishing community of life around me. How can I bring this little being authentically into a world that I know is madness? There is nothing like this before that has shown me that now is the time to carve out the dreams that have been lingering in my heart, now is the time to plant the seeds to really create a future living integrally and in tune with nature and the ancient wise ways! Such a blessing to receive this gift!! I already feel the mama energy in me and wow … its quite incredible!
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