This little being had me deep in love and overwhelm from the word go.
With her large brown all seeing eyes, I was sure she could read all my thoughts and emotions. I felt very in love and very blessed to become the unplanned and unexpected mother I’d become. Transitioning into the mumma realm wasn’t without its harsh initiations though. I immediately developed an acute sense of both our vulnerabilities, to the point that it could almost debilitate me with fears of freakish accidents and a new excrutiating empathy for all mothers and their vulnerable young. We had a few friends stay and help out a little in the early weeks and months as I longed for more support and to feel like there was a greater nucleus that we could turn to but our modern day disease of disconnection to each other reigned in on us and many times I felt bereft and exhausted in body and mind. We were blessed with material needs and gifts of more than we needed, but I learnt early that a mummas job should never belong to just the mumma. And my heart went out to all the single mothers out there doing their best in the most unnatural situation of being on their own in a world of so many.